|"I Think This Might Be It..."
||[Feb. 10th, 2008|10:08 am]
The Wishbone Society
|||||The Last Castle?||]|
My plans got so messed up for Friday night!
I was taking the walk with my soon-to-be-stepsister & her friend when Cortney called & asked me to go to the movies with her!
She's kinda, sorta, a bit disordered too, but about 99.9% less severe than me, so I wasn't worried about food.
We went & saw THE BUCKET LIST, got yelled at by the theater wench & then went to a party.
I spent the night there, but I didn't even drink more than one sip of my water bottle all night & until I came home.
When I got home Saturday morning I drank a carbonated lime water (0/0/0) & some of a peach flavored one.
I had some hot tea with Splenda then pretty much went to bed.
I had a little scare last night though.
I took laxatives with some water before I went to bed to get rid of the water weight that my body loves to store when I have my period.
I woke up at about 1am to go to the bathroom.
I closed the bathroom door & locked it.
I always, always get light headed when I stand up, but it was so much worse than usual.
I leaned my head up against the door frame & the next thing I know, I'm only seeing black, banging my face against the door & crumbling to the floor.
It was so loud & I was way too scared.
I have a black eye, but no one has asked yet.
I had my phone for some reason, so when I realized that I'd dropped it, I picked it up & sat myself on the toilet.
The first thought to come to me was, "I think this might be it.."
I don't want to die, especially in the bathroom in a crumpled pile on the floor.
If I were going to die, as horrible as it sounds, I would want it to be from being too thin, but not yet.
My lips & mouth are beyond dry right now, dehydration?
I had one glass of iced tea with Splenda about an hour ago & my body immediatly purged it.
Even I wouldn't purge zero calorie iced tea, but it came right back up.
Right now my house is filled with the smell of bacon & eggs.
I honestly have to say that I'm afraid of gaining weight from smelling it.
I've decided to just have 10 bouillon cubes a day this week (Monday - Friday) & then fast on the weekend like normal.
My amazing friend MISS SKINNY has a live journal now, so go friend her! MissSkinny95
Have any of you ever had an experience like the one I had last night?
Should I be worried?